It seems many of us have experienced first hand some of the things Andi is struggling with right now.

I've been reading every word because so much of it rings true to my Mother's experiences. One bit of information that we discovered, because my father was a veteran and my mother had early Alzheimer care issues, she was eligible for a supplemental payment. It helped bridge the gap between her pension, SS and the cost of her 2nd level assisted living expenses.

When she became desperately ill from her radiation and chemo, my sister and I decided to fund some private nursing for her to get her through the treatments. Unfortunately, she crashed a day later and was admitted to the hospital.

It's been 8 weeks of recovery, but she finally returns to her apartment tomorrow. At this point she's not complaining about anything, but still refuses most of the food. We take her special treats, and out to eat as often as possible. If we weren't here, I'd probably send her care packages just like she did for me when I was in college. We often joke about the payback nature of parents and children. Now I'm the bossy one! Luckily Mom still has her sense of humor and can laugh at me when I get a little overbearing!

I guess I'm writing all of this because I know how dark you can feel in the middle of a health crisis and how frustrating it is when there seems to be so little good news.

Andi, I hope you'll come through to better news and options. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right solution.

Donna and Alan, you are so wise to start making your own arrangements. I really need to do the same thing, but I've already reassured my only child that when I'm a burden to her, she has my permission to help me find the best place to be. God, I hope I don't have to move to NJ!