Donna, you can write volumes about absentee caregiving. As you said, there are so many that have or currently are facing this very wrenching dilemma. Caregiving, under such circumstances, is terribly difficult and creates a lot of angst. However, you do what you must, as this is the hand that was dealt. Running into inefficiency only enhances the hardship.

Andi, I can't think of a better person to lean on and get information from than Donna, who is right in Tuscon. Through Donna's posts and my meeting with her at brunch a few weeks ago, I can truly say she is a beautiful and caring individual.

From what you've just posted, your mother needs to be in a far better facility and I wish you the best in making that happen.

I hardly know what else to say, except that I truly understand the dynamics of this all and wish I had the ability to help you and your mother through this difficult period.

Hugs to you, my friend!