Andi,

I know from very personal experience how conflicted you are with this situation. I walked many miles in your shoes and really do feel for you so very much. Leaving when a parent is in this condition is so very hard. If you need to honor her wishes, then so be it. Forcing her to live someplace she refuses to go to really accomplishes little, except more grief for you both. I do think that arranging care for her in her home is the way to go and social services through the hospital or through senior services organizations within the state of Arizona should be able to direct your way through this confusing maze. I know that Tucson has a very large Jewish community. You may want to inquire through Jewish Family Service or other organizations (temples, etc.).

As I said previously, you are really doing the best you can and hopefully, things will take a turn to your mother's favor.

Take care, my friend. I am thinking of you and your mother and sending caring thoughts your way.