Thanks for your concern and advice. To answer your questions, as Kathy pointed out, it is about independence. It is also about the fact that she doesn't like the cold and wants to stay where it is warm.

Yes, she has consistently refused to leave Tucson. She is open to assisted living. However, when I told her the apartments were only 500 square feet, she asked if I could look into a caregiver arrangement full time at home for the same price. I honestly have no idea.

She has no friends or family any place but on hte east coast. I cannot bear the thought of her being totally by herself out here. I cannot take the time to keep flying out to Arizona. It would be much better to have her with us on the east coast. My family could then visit her and take her out in nice weather -- even if it is to only sit in my yard.

I have no issue with assisted living and have found out she can afford it without liquidating her home (I can rent it out) or her life savings. It may provide her with a healthier environment. I have to leave on Saturday am and just don't know how I can help her sort through everything in this short a period of time....

As far as mental status, it is drug and infection related. However, a key issue now is that her infection is causing diarrhea and she refuses to eat. As a result, she is becoming malnourished. The doctor said "eat or feeding tubes." She has signed the sheet for no feeding tubes. This is a key concern for me.

Again, thank you all!