Yep, TUSHees, our first Tushee Passages has been published. Peruse the remarkable lineup of ack-tiv-i-tees for our virtual enjoyment on our ALL INCLUSIVE virtual "MUSH Ado about Alaski" vacation!

We hope you Ben Dover and Sea More BUTZ! this week.

The Daily TP

Click on the "TUSHEE Passages Aug 30" link in the "Files" section and get ready for a rip-roaring good time.

If there's anything else near and dear to your heart whilst you're not aboard TUSH, please post your suggestions here. Your co-cruise direktors will do their best to schedule them during our virtual vacation to Alaski.

Please remember: Whilst on TUSH, you may be up sh*t creek but never without a paddle!



Cheers, Anne

Oh Anne!!

Beautiful!!!!

Anne I was in tears reading Passages! ROFLMBO
I think us TUSH'ers need to have some type of real cruise together as we'd have that boat rockin' from laughing so much.

Robert; I hope you know how to kook catfish because Tom and I may be transplants to the south, BUTT we have no idear how to kook those pesky varmints.

I guess we could make up some BEER batter and toss 'em in there head and all dead or alive, eh?

Anne, you are amazing! <img border="0" alt="[vhappy]" title="" src="graemlins/icon_vhappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[vhappy]" title="" src="graemlins/icon_vhappy.gif" />

Anne
Fabulous. You are so creative! I agree Sue, it would really be fun to go on a cruise with everyone sometime.

Anne, the Daily TP is priceless. Thanks for making me the social hostess of one of our wonderful activities today! You are so creative!

Nancy

Winifred Windshield here, but you can call me Winnie, reporting from exciting Clam Gulch.

The gangs all here at Clam Gulch for our pre-xchursions....a bit crowded but not noticed by our enterprising TUSHee's. Don and Diana have set up a souvenir shop selling clam shell corn-on-the-cob holders and napkin rings. Peggy and Jerry are butt sore from riding Sadie, their mule all the long way from Texas. Jerry seems out of pain's way now, happily sipping from a box-o-wine.

My wheel barrow lost it's wheel crossing the pipeline but I caught a ride with Arlene and Gil in their chevy from the levy...Meezer Mom saved the day with Gato-aid. Gary and Alan are checking out the outhouse while Anne and Denise are rounding up talent for tonight's non-entertainment.

We had to cancel Betty k's block party, unfortunately I lost the mortar and trowels on the pipeline.

Don and Michele have adapted splendidly considering having to leave their new penthouse. Have to admire Don for his spot on retirement planning.

Signing off for now. Anne just brought me a cranberry and Ripple cocktail....Cripple.

Winnie

Non-embarkation is about to begin! Our kudos to our furrin correspondent, Lee, for the Sh*t Creek paddle supply connection. If your LCT pals can't find it, you don't need it!

Whew! I am plumb out of breath gettin' the daily ack-tiv-i-tees set up. Can't wait to see Arlene & Gil's tempra painted cruiser and Don's bar (boat AND car) get-up in the parking lot.

Winnie will be our ace reporter working the Alaski pipeline. I'm on pins & needles waiting for the first report.

We're working up tomorrer's TP. Any requests should be posted by 4 pm. We'd hate to disappoint the TUSHees if they've got their hearts set on sumtin'

Cheers, Anne

You guys are too much... this is priceless... :bv:

Mariner Cruise for 2 to Alaska....$7,000

New suitcases to withstand TSA abuse....$500.00

Airfare for 2 to Vancouver.....$1,000
Asprin after spending hours on phone trying to get ff air tix.....$5.00

Dog Sitter.....$200.00
Presents for Dog due to enormous guilt....$100.00

New Cold weather clothes (cause I live in Florida and only have old stuff).......$500.00

Regent excursions......$300.00

Scratching the whole thing and going on TUSH instead.........PRICELESS

Well done, Anne! You deserve a pat on the back(side) for putting together Tushee Passages -- it cracked me up.

:app: :app: :app:

Oh, Anne - HYSTERICAL!!!

Anne,

BRILLIANT, MY FINE PARTNER IN GRIME! BRILLIANT!

ENTERTAINMENT ALERT:

Our entertainment for tonight, a truly memorable guitar picker named Three Fingers Fred, unfortunately had a minor chainsaw accident yesterday. Two-Fingers Fred is currently on the mend. Please join me in wishing him a speedy recovery.

However, not to worry. After scouring all my sources, I managed to book the world renown and much in demand nose picker/flicker, Floyd Fingerlickin'. Please join me for a very entertaining evening of pickin' and flickin'. Floyd always welcomes audience participation!

I can't stop laffing Denise!!! I wish we had a graemlin of someone P'ing :ohmy:

Too funny!


If I wasn't exhausted from a long hike in Yosemite I'd try to be creative....so, I'm heading over to the KOA kampground kanteen for a kamakaze akkompanied by a kernal of korn.

Hey Leslie! Welcome!

The KOA Kanteen is jest the place for a kamakaze. Texas Don will fix you up right quick. Just watch out for the nails, girlfriend (see Tush Icebreaker thread).

Cheers, Anne

Hey Leslie! You've been missed! Time to play catch-up!

Watch out for those kamakazes! Those really creep up on you faster than the bedbugs we've placed on your pillow! After all, a slip and fall at the Captain's Meet and Greet Party would be most embarrassing, dontcha think???? Just make sure Alan isn't close by if you take the plunge! ;)

Anne, ROTFLMAO! That is one of the funniest things I have ever read and that is quite a feat with this bunch.

These are jus the ticket for anythin regardin TUSH! Oops, I wet my pants!

Don, LOL, LOL, LOL

Good morning TUSHees!

Check under your virtual bunk this morning for today's edition.

The Daily TP

We are planning a fun-filled day INCLUDING the non-cruise past Tracy's Arm. Don't ferget yer Flair pens so you can sign it!

Y'all can find me at the Oily Olay Spa this afternoon.



Today's Worlds of Wisdom:

I resolve that the next time we go on vacation I will try to take more pictures of my partner than pictures of my truck. (thanks to Shane)


Cheers, Anne

Love the new standard for formal wear......clean feet! Guess wearing jeans in the diningroom is a non issue ;)

Well, I am going to be ULTRA formal this evenin as I got myself a pet-a-cure yesterday, so my toe nails are real purdy.

SPECIAL NOTICE from youse KON-see-urge!!!!

Jes a reminder that you'll shore want to pay close attn-chen to them events that can earn youse Tushee Tokens (Check Director Anne's Tushee Passages to see what them events are).
Let me tell you, them r some real swell prizes youse can git for them Toe-cans.

Betty - It's right nice to see you! We'll give our fellow TUSHees a little pree-vue of our Tushee Tokens. They are RARE COLLECTIBLES. Think of the attention you will get on Antiques Roadshow when you show up with a bushel full of these!




Gary's always wanted to play with the band, so he'll be wearing his dual-purpose tie and washboard to our Fishsticks Formal. I tole him and tole him it doesn't get worn from his rope belt but he's hell-bent on being "fashion forward". He's even dabbing a little tartar sauce behind the ears! Hope the band is ready for his rendition of "I Like My Women A Little On The Trashy Side"



Lunch truck is jes pulling into the parkin' lot. Can sum one clang the dinner bell?

Looks like the guest lekchers are arriving. There's still a few seats left in the Nascar the-a-ter:

Don't forget we have them special drinks from the box-o-wines of the world k-lechun. Todays special is one of dem high fillutin more-tinis.

It is mixed with Shee-roz from the land downunder, votka, cranberi jus, and tripple sex. It is called a Koalapolitan!

woo hoo! Tripple sex . is that anythin' like amor-hula cream likker? KOalapolitans are for us!

I'm counting the minutes til happy hour. Hoping Donna is up & at 'em. She's gonna find some lushee Tushees!


Cheers, Anne

Jus to let all them fine folk know that them there monogramed Deep-Endz that Don's a'modelin' is selling at the Gift Shoppe.

Can't remember when I enjoyed a guest lekcherer as much as this here plumbin' fella. In fact, he's so lekcherous that he's givin' private demonstrations on how he plumbs to the gals on TUSH! My private demonstration is at 4:00, so I might be late for dinner. He suggested we have a little tripple sex during the demonstration, but I'll have to flat out say no. Tripple sex and me jus don't mix.

I dunno, Denise. Donna's gonna have her hands full at the Bar-Fly with this guy during "Beer & Bait" Happy Hours



Might need to keep her kompany case he offers HER a plumbin' lesson! That wristband makes me think he checked outer rehab a littl' ahead of time. Cheers, Anne

Just when I thought Alan was hard at work! Caught in the act! <img border="0" alt="[c]" title="" src="graemlins/c.gif" />

I want one of them thar Koalapolitan's!

Good morning TUSHees and Welcome to World Famous Ketchup Can!

After last night's Fishsticks Formal, I am badly in need of an Eye Propper to start my day. Don, those KOALApolitans go down so easy .. and put you out for a loooong time! Thanks to Denise and Al for hosting the finest sun-cooked, slow-basted fish stick feed EVER.

Your Daily TP is conveniently located under your virtual door.

The Daily TP

Looking forward to today's Roller Derby event! The unused beer is served up at today's Happy Hour.

Get ready for the Block Party and Mortar Forkin' event. Winny found her forks and mortar .. the rest, as they say, SHALL MAKE HISTORY!

Cheers, Anne (Boiled Peanut)

All printed out and filed Peanut. This is impotant doc-o-ments to save fo granchilin

Whew!!! Kon-see-urge desk has been right busy this morn. Better hurry folks, lots of events and scursions fillin up to th brim!
Unfortunately, Hail Watching had to be postponed 'til later 'cause of good weather!

Don't forget to sign up fer th Jug Tootin' (always well attended), and don't ya'll forgit you can win some toe-cans for thatin!!!

R Direktors are doing a bang up job!!!!

Butter Bean Betty

ah jus saw this hyar thread. Anne yo' haf outdone yo'seff. ah cannot stop laughin'! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide! ah muss say ah have quite a hangovah af'er last nights partyin' an' th' dancin' wif thet fine group includin' th' warshboard player was so much fun. Cain't wait t'try th' noo drinks.

Sounds like a great day--can't wait to Horn them thar Hooks!! Collard Peggy (who really is more like an Armadillo :D )

AHOY CAP (thas short for Collard Amardillo Peggy)! We been lookin' for ewe and Cap Jerry!

Dang .. jes in time to navigate us thru tomorrer's eye-tin-ray, Insulation Aisle to Judo.

Kon-see-urge Betty: Glory be! Jes let us know if you need sum hep. We've got them toe-cans burn'in a hole in our pockits. I'm postin' the Roller Derby results. Please get BEHIND yore favrit! All de-sij-uns of our Kon-See-Urge are FI-nil.

Wuz that you under the table last night, or wuz that you dancin' on the table top?

Gary still is enjoying the tartar sauce no-shave lotion from last night. Kan't remember the last time he's had so much fun!

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

Boll Weevil and Possum, your MATE=R=DEES, are waiting in Autographs for y'all to GET ON THE STICK for today's luncheon delights. There sumthin' for everyone:

Big Al manning the Gills and Grill:



Yore COMPLIMENTARY suv-nir of Ketchup Can:



Appetizers for Aspiring and Accomplished Artists:



Everyone's all time favorite food on a stick



If size matters:



From the Healthy Choice Menu:



A slow, sweet finish:



Good eatin, y'all!

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

I tell ya what...Possum n' I were so busy we worked R BUTTS off during lunch 2day. That ther stick stuff went ovr reel big - soma them folks looked like hogs runnin to a trough they was so dang happy and hungreee.

Since we didn't eet lunch I figger we'd down a Mogentini or 3 and head on over to the hawg calling contest - or maybe that took place durin lunch cuz some of them folks was shore a hootin and hollerin!

Some nice folks had an extry set of teeth for my SEA MALE and now he looks darn rite handsum. I mean I can't B 2 picky...so summa the teeth are a bit rottin - he can still pik n'grin!

Boll Weevil! Be sure to bring 'em to the BLOCK PARTY. Let's see iffen he knows how to swing a trowel .. <img border="0" alt="[naughty]" title="" src="graemlins/naughty.gif" />

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

Grits & I sure did luv the Gator Shack over at Bayou Bob's. Big Al's Gills & Grills were fanger lickin' goooood, too.

We'll see ya'll, Boll Weevil, Possum & Boiled Peanut, over at that thar Block Party. Butter Bean's been workin' up a storm, I hear. Whinny has been stormin' up the coast. Sure hope I haven't missed that mortar forkin' contest!

TUSH ON,
Chitlin'

Plenty o'time to start a'forkin', Michele!

Wonderin' who's gonna be crowned Kang or Kween o'forkin'?????? The Kang or Kween is gonna reeceev a januine tin metl incruztd wit flcks o'gld duzt, a'hangin' from twine.

Kween or Kang o' forkin'?? Well now, ain't that nice? Youse krews direktors are sure doin' a bang up job of cruise di-reck-tin'. And a jan-u-ine tin metl to boot! YEE HAW!!!!!!!!!

Nice to have Fry-mah-Hide & Collard Peggy checkin' in har. Hope they caught that thar roller derby. Sure wuz a good-en! Can't wait for dem RE-sults.

Got a couple of entries. One for Kween and one for the Royal Fambly:





Cheers, Boiled Peanut

B.P. now stop showin us pikshurs like that...it dun cauzed Possum to drop his trow(el) he got so xcited and we lost the mortar forkin kontist! :mad:

I waz hopin to have enuff TUSH toekins to get me a soo-vin-ear TUSH plug fer my sea male...evr since he ate them thar stix for lunch he's bin a hootin' and a tootin'! ;)

Shez gotta mity handy cup rezt. Wunder if they sell that inna gift shop!

I gotta hand it to Da-Nees .. oops, I mean Moon Pie (wif prune fillin) .. Makin' sure we not only SEA MORE BUTZ but dat we also BEN DOVER!

Today's eye-tin-ry has us Cruising the Insulation Aisle to Judo. Iffen you want to change, white underwear adds to the fes-tiv-i-tees.

We had a slight ack-see-dent this mornin' with Bendi Kuntorshun. He was demon-straight-in the bes' way to virchu-lee dee-liver The Daily TP. Mebbe it was them gater puppies or dat toke, but when he seed Sue's swuete (pronounced: soo-eey-t) and BUTTler, he skreeched and done fell over.

His dee-sigh-pul, Leslie B, has VOLUNTEERED to lead Xceryz and Eye Test ack-ti-vi-tee TODAY. Be sure to drag yore rear for this SPESHUL Ee-Vent.

Chick out the rest of today's ack-ti-vi-tees:

The Daily TP

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

An donya go furgitn bout de speshul drink o de day. Anuther martini from the box-o-wines-o-de-whirled slekthun!

An dis drink is coshur! (leest I think) It is maid wit Mogen David Blackberry wine, kranberi juz, votka, triple sex, and just a splarsh of lyme. Its cald a Matzopolitan.

Pore Bendi...he looked like a pret-zul cuz he gat to Sea More than he barguned fer! We waz prak-ta-sin fer the FULL MOON partee and he got an eye full! :ohmy:

We R so Xcited fer the big kampfire kookout and sleep over...I hope thar's gonna be a TOKE-A pardy!

We alwayz admired them folks in the kuntry a GREASE fer how they dress and they alwayz are in such a good mood! ;)

ah neva did make it up fo' buttfast this hyar mo'nin' af'er all thet kareeoke last night. ah didn't knows thet Jim Black Velvet B an' Meezer Mama c'd sin' so fine. ah was jest blown away! Fry mah hide!

Gil did manage t'stumble out t'buttfast an' came stumblin' back t'let me knows how fine them butty marys were. His eyes were all bloodshot, doesn't knows if it was th' butty marys o' th' lack of sleep. ah went t'th' houn'dog sheddin' leckure but started t'sneeze. Dawgone allergies!

Af'er lunch ah decided ah needed some xersise, so went t'th' class an' decided t'do th' scratchin as ev'rythin' on me seems t'be itchin, as enny fool kin plainly see. Cain't unnerstan' whuffo' on account o' th' bedbugs seem t'have lef' cuz they didn't like th' smells a-comin' fum th' sueyte. Now it seems ah scratched a bit too much. Thet's ok, th' doc gave me some nice pink cream t'put all on over mah hide. Gil reckons it's so sexy too! Fry mah hide!

Af'er a delicious dinner, we went t'watch th' movie on th' trimenjus TV screen. (Nashunal Lampoon's Vacashun was relly on th' boob tube tonight! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!)ah doesn't knows when ah laughed so hard, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Now ev'ryone is fast asleep in thar sleepin' bags sno'in' away. they sho'nuff passed out quickly af'er they smoked them cigarettes an' drank Jim's special six packs! Guess they were jest tired fum all th' ackivities.

Hey Y'all, Randy an Ay jus got ar foto back from Fermul Nyte. Ay tenk we had fetchun outfits for the evnun. (Don't ya jus love the backgrund. We felt rit at home.)

TUSH Door Cinz Jus In

Hey Y'all, Sury butt the prentirs were late with ar kabn cinz. Hope y'all like the dezin for it.

Beth,
Them kabn cinz is perfek!!! I knew youse worked mighty hard on that rrt work. Thanks!

And I done loved you'lls fermul nyte photo!!

(What a way to start my morning....laughing hysterically to both Beth's and Arleen's posts!!)

Butter Bean

YEE HAW...The South shall rise agin'. Mighty purty formel frocks. Ima toastin' you wid a bottle 'a Rebel Yell.
I tell y'all, John Steinbeck ain't got nuthin' on us TUSHers....."The Grapes of Laugh" :app:

Hey y'all - weez up n at em early!! Wassup fer today? Mebbe the TP waznt slid under my tent flap? Mebbe I took it to the outhouse wit me by mistook???

Do believe weez headed for Skank Way?

Jello fella TUSHees! Dag nab it! I musta been too close to that toke-a-pardy kampfire. Jes shaking them corn-cobs offen my keyboard. Dang I am hon-gree! Where's the feedbag when you need it?

Our pit stop today is Skank Way for all the live-long day. I 'spect y'all reddy knows it's a Nashunl Holly-Day "Futball See-sin Opener". We've dee-signed a full day in honor of this'n here EE-Vent

The Daily TP

Unfortunately, Marvin got his rear twistered too far in Power Pogo. Leslie's workin' her hardest to get him free but it's not lookin' good, TUSHees. Bring yore Oily Olay and mebbe he can be freed. We scrambled to find a re-placement in-struck-shun on Skanks in honor of our pit stop.

Iffen yore glued to yore fav=rite futball game, take a few minits now to lern about them skanks, cane todes. It's a li'l ruff on the young-uns, so send 'em off to play dodge cars in the parkin lot while yore watchin' it.
Skanky: Baz the Cane Toad

Our crack kon-see-urge, Betty K, is fixing up some mite purdy pri-zees fer us. Stay tuned to feast yore eyes on what them toe-kins can virtually win fer ya.

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

Hey Y'all,

Herez a prevue of the Jello Wrasslin' for tonyte..... Don't mizz it nohw.... Y'all come n propreate atire.



Edtited:

This herez a late edichun to de Jel-Low Festival... Bellow Jellow Eatin'..... sign up soon, y'all



Luv ya, Sweet Pea

Well shux me n' Possum godda nuther full dA
on TUSH! Wez so happie that sum one membered we LOVE head CHEEZ cuz wez the biggest CHEEZ HEADS...we love that 1/4back BUTT FARTE (I mean Brett Favre)...sorrie I kan't spel 2 good yet!

Movin' right along to the Jell-O shooders...Mmmmmmm Mmmmmm we will be ferst in line. MayB b4 the kompatishun we shood have a inny/outy belly buttin kontest!

Hey R-leen u upta drawin a tATTOO ON ME? It looks like us galz need one ta git in the rasslin festuval.

B.W.

That thar fota lookz lik the midnite jello an'tumy lickin' boofay!

An' don' foget tadaze martini spechil. Dis 1 is anuda faverot from da box-o-wines of da whirld klechun an surved ina sueveneer glASS! Dis wus mi ressipee frumwen I wus da hed some-moll-yay on dat Itly shyp. Dis one is mixt wit Riunite Lambrusco, has da cranberri juz, tripple sex (gotta go ez iffin ya has a bad tickkr), and votka. I calsita Costapolitan!

Tmara, we havin' sumpti extry spechil so ya don' wanna mis out! Alda sem as abov cept sted of Lambrusco we make it wit two buck chuk of calyfoyrneyea! I calsita Calypolitan! A hooge favrite of my frend Denise (Moon Pye) an' ha twyn cusin, da tolet seet kween, Reah Gurgitate!

Moon (PitM) Pie will take 3, please!!!

Don - wuz that YOU on dat Costa Cruise in 1982? Swilling that glASS and showin' such clASS? I done think you fixed up my first Costapolitan!

We's needing four ta stroll memry lane once more. Diane and Gary will keep it quite merry.

Ohhhh.. Calipolitans tmra. Ken't weight!

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

Thanks to Ms Winnie for helping me to find this thread - must be the computer - couldn't be me!

Crikey, your furrin correspondent from down under can be pretty dumb at times - Don, can you help me out? What is 'shee-roz?' Good on yer mate!

TUSH is just a larf a minnut! Fair dinkum!!

Howdy thar my fren' from WAY down yonder! Been a hopin' you could ketch up wid us in Scank Way...ain't seen ya since Clam Gulch...thet place bout did me in...phew. Need ta git crackin' wid my crack pot and make some grub. We havin' Grand Manure for de-zert!!

Moon Pie

Good to see ya, Down Undah Wondah! Keep them reports comin!

Lotsa piles of fresh and ripe manure ready for the fixins, MZ Whinney!

Good morning, TUSHees. You'll find your Daily TP unner yore door extry-early. We've got a very full set of ack-ti-vi-ties fer ya.

Today's pit stop is tha one we all been waitin fer:

SIT COM

The Daily TP

So enjoy a heapin' helpin of TUSH hospitality. Set a spell. Take yore shoes off.

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

Hey thar, BP, AY jus found a foto of som sengle guys praktisin for ar Grape Stompin kontest. Elurt all de fin sengle ladees of these kute fellars kumin onbord today.



Sweat Pea

Dat's sum FINE SEA MALE spottin' you dun, Sweat Pea!

I'm axing our kon-see-urge Butter Bean to a-ward youse some extry toe-kins.

See you at them stompin' grounds to-nite!

Cheers, BP

NUTER SPECHUL NOTICE frum youse Kon-see-urge
**************On Toe-can Redem-shun**********

I knows some of youse has catched quite a slew of them toe-cans. (I thank I seen Don wit he's overalls pockets arunnin' over)
Anyways, I thanked you'd like to see wat spechul prizes them toe-cans can fetch ya!

Hers a samplin':


So git busy TUSHees....work hard...cause I thank youse will agree, it's gol darn worth it!!

Youse Kon-see-urge......Butter Bean Betty

And a Pee-S to my las mess-age!

NO self res-pec-tin TUSHee will want to go home without 1 of these:


Youse Kon-see-urge....BBB

Set a spell and relax, 'cause tonight is The Grape Stompin' contest, where all you TUSHees work yerself into a stompin' frenzy! No need to wash yer feet, clip yer toenails, or shave yer legs for this one. All those natural ingredients only add to the full-body taste and aroma of the Half-A-Buck-Pickup-Truck-Roadkill-Fer-The-Potluck wine!

See ya' at the Stompin'! Ya ain't been to TUSH lessen you stomped at the CRUSH!

BP, Might fine job!

Lots o'toe cans are gonna be reedeemed tonight! Them prizes are THE best, one-of-a-kind!
When yer friends see 'em, you'll be the envy of yer trailer park!

Butter Bean, 'member i'm yer fren, so slip one a dem ashtrays under the washtub an sav fer me. i'm not doing so hot winnin' toe cans but tonite is the nite I shine!I gots pre-hensile toenails that are a' itchin' to stomp!

Whewwwwwieee we jist rolled our BUTTS outa bed...done missed brekfist and lunch.

Kan't find my fone to call that wunnerful sum-melly-ear Don to bring us a pitchr fulla tudayz speshul. Hey Don toss a few merra-shino cherryz in there so we gets r Frooot fer the day! :p

That Sing Along wit Mitch Miller last nite was a doozie, yet a bit much fer me and Possum. We waz singin "show me the way ta go hom I'm tyred and I wanna go ta bed. I had a koalapolitan a minit a go an it went rite to my head".

Ole Possum waz dremin' he waz in the exyrcize progrum and waz pee'in off the balkony jist a yell'in I WON I WON giv me ma toe-kinz. I had ta slap 'em along sid the head to wak 'em up!

Boll Weevill - Hope you git yore FROOT yestidday. It's neerin' the endda our non-krews, TUSHees, so we are on root to Bruising Hubbard Squash fer our lastest day. Bettrn a root kanal, Chitlin sez.

The Daily TP

I'z gots ta fine T. Leary, who done gone on a nudder trip (what's wid dat??), so when we hit Fiddler, we kin head off to Denial tomorrer. Don't ferget the COMPLIMENTARY Doom and Gloom we left BEHIND yore door.

Have a fine time enjoying yer lastful day of TUSH! Jes remember to stop by our Kon-see-urge desk to not settle yore ack-ount.

Cheers, Boiled Peanut

No-tes frum youse Kon-see-urge

We been rite busy these mornin. Folks re-demin' them toe-cans fer them gol dern fine prizes an all! All them good-uns near gone!

An to re-min youse, when youse comes to settle you-ens ack-ount, brang cash monies. No O-fence to you, my TUSHee frens, but we done been stiffed by some o them per-snal cheks.

BBB

Kwote from Tushee Passages 9:5 Thow shalt have yore bags packed and left downwind your doors bi 2 in da mornin' for dis-mem-ber-kation tomorrer.

An wiles wer on dis here sub-jekt, if yer da fella dat has dis vidyo, ya mite wanna make sur dat ya takes it bak to da kon-see-urge befer ya get in ta bed tanite! Ya donna want her assitunt Lore-ayna to comes a lookin' for ya!

Lore-aynus nds ta be kept away frum shrp objcts!

Tyms a'waistn' to git redy fer Denial and Reality Checkque - Thys iz the 2nd CHEEK ov ur TUSH non-cruise! Kin hrdly w8 ta giddy-up thar!