I've been away from LCT for the most part.

My mother is gravely ill in the hospital and I spend most days with her. The commute from my home to there is an hour each way. By the time I return home I'm just too tired to do much web surfing.

During all of this time there have been so much discussion of the passing of Terri Shiavo and now the Pope. When my Mom was admitted to the hospital she was asked about her advance directive. She was clear in her wishes and as one of her children, I am very grateful to her for that. It also made me mindful to talk with my daughter about my living will if I were to become unable to express my wishes.

All of this may sound a bit gloomy and I admit I am not my usual upbeat self. My mother is 80 and has had a good life. She seems prepared to go and I have accepted that, but with some luck she has the possibilty to recover. The really hard thing to accept is that she may not want that. The will to live is a powerful thing, but something that we each must generate for ourselves.

At any rate, I'm sorry to carry on so much. I just wanted to stop by and let you know I'm away right now, but hope to be back sometime soon. I still look for Marcie's World Cruise reports...sometimes it's just good to fantisize about good things!

Margo, our thoughts are with you and your mom. The one positive note with the Terri Schiavo controversy is that families are openly discussing what their wishes are. I'm glad your mom has a chance to do that.

Margo,
I am very sorry to hear about your mom. I know what you are going through and if you ever need to talk, I would be happy to listen.

You both are in my thoughts.
xoxo

Margo, I've been wondering about you because your posts have been so few lately. Needless to say, I'm so sorry to hear the reason for your limited time on LCT. You and your mother are and will continue to be in my thoughts. Please keep us posted as you can. All the best to you.

Margo, I went through my mom's last days after a stroke a few years ago, with no written directive from her, but we knew her wishes, and the need never came for the doctors to challenge anything, as she passed naturally, albeit with a feeding tube through the stomach. I am glad your mother made her wishes known. They will not do anything if death is not imminent, and you are going to die anyway. Every time I draft a will for a client, I include in my services a "living will", which is in our state called an "Advance Directive" and an "Appointment of Heath Care Agent". It really is so easy to do this, and everyone should take care of this. I know the other thread could and should have been deleted, but I just want to get that message out there.

You have my wishes that your Mom will recover to a good life.

Margo,

We will have your Mom, and you, in our thoughts and prayers!

Betty

Margo, I can empathize with you. I have had a similar situation with my mother over the past year. It is one of the reasons I returned to the US from Europe. I have to make time to be with my mother now that she is out of the hospital (She lives across the country and I have no time for a vacation right now). Your note reminded me of that. Our thoughts are with you.

Dear Margo,
Please accept my deepest thoughts of you and your Mother during this time :hug:

Margo - so sorry to hear about your situation. I knew you had been somewhat scarce lately but I was still seeing posts every now and then so I figured that you were just busy. Best wishes to you and your family and big hugs to you.

Masaki

Margo, I am sorry to hear that you are facing such a difficult time right now. I hope that you will take good care of yourself even as you care for your mom.

Margo
I had missed your posts & am so glad that you had time tonight to post.

Wishing you the best for your Mother. Mine is 88 & has been near death on several occasions & then bounces right back. She still drives & has a sharp mind. She was groaning yesterday about the fact that she had to buy a new refrigerator last week. She says no 88 year old should have to be making such a purchase. When I asked her if I should call to see if the ice delivery man was still in business, she laughed & felt better.
So hang in there. You know this entire board is with you.

Hi Margo,

I was wondering the other day about you. I hope your mom recovers soon. I'm glad that you can spend all that time with her.
Please take care,

Margo,

I have missed you also, but assumed you were busy with your renovations. It is a difficult and exhausting time and I echo Marsha that you try to take care of yourself also. Are your siblings nearby?

Please know that I and all of us are thinking of you!

Margo, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom! These can be such tough times for us daughters who are caregivers. I lost my Mom almost 1 year ago (May 1st) and there's never a day that goes by that I don't think of her. Just remember to take care of yourself too! It's easy to forget about the rest of our lives when we're going through something like this! I'll never forget how supportive all my LCT friends were when I was going through the toughest days of my life. We want to all be there for you too!!!

You and your Mom will be in my prayers!!

Dear Margo,

Please know your presence here is missed. I've needed to care for several of my family members in this circumstance, but, our mothers are the hardest. Be kind to yourself. Take time for you. We're here and wishing you strength.

You are all so dear. Thank you for such supportive thoughts and prayers.

Each day I hope Mom will be better, perhaps today she'll perk up a bit. In the meantime, you are all the most wonderful medicine for me. You've lifed my spirts. Thank you.

Margo - we're glad to hear from you and wishing both you and your mom the best. It's a sad time, but in its own way it's a gift for both of you to be together now, no matter the outcome. Hoping she'll be with you for a long time to come in good health .. Hugs, Anne

Margo, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Nancy

Margo,

Alan's and my loving thoughts and prayers are with your mother, you and your entire family. I have had to walk many miles in your shoes with both my parents, who lived in NY. The distance made it all the more difficult to handle and bear. I do understand much of what you are going through and you have my uttmost support and best wishes.

This has been a difficult weekend for Alan and me. We received a call yesterday from a friend who told us another one of our friends, who is also a co-worker of Alan's, had passed away, as he was playing tennis, on Saturday. He was in his mid-50's. We are shocked and saddened.

Margo - so sorry to hear about your Mom. Our thoughts and prayers are with you - as someone above said, take some time for yourself. It is indeed a great thing that you are close enough to be with her each day, and I'm sure it means a lot to her as well.

Will be thinking about you - you have been missed.

Margo, I've missed your posts, too. Like "Another Kathy", I assumed those re-decorating plans were taking all of your time. Also, wasn't it about this time last year that your tennis team was going to sectionals? I hope you have the time to play (at least a little). It will help take care of the stress.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother. And, bless her heart for having a medical directive which takes the burden off of you. We went through the same thing when Alan's dad passed away in February. He made his wishes clear also. Although it was hard for Alan and his family to carry them out, they honored them. And, in his case, it was for the best.

Please take time to post a line or two to let us know how you are holding up through this. The love and energy from this board is so uplifting. It certainly has been to me.

Take care.

Margo,

We are all here for you! Even when you don't have a chance to check in with us, know that we are thinking of you, your mother and your family. Lots of good wishes are going your way. Don't forget to take good care of yourself, too!

:hug: :hug:

Margo, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. My parents both made living wills after dealing with the losses of their parents, and though we lost Mom in 2000 it was good that we knew her wished. It doesn't make this difficult time easier, though. :hug:

Margo, you are in my thoughts. My mom will be 85 this year, and so far is in incredible health, but I know the day of having to deal with illnesses will come.

Margo, My heart goes out to you in this situation. I've been there with my own mother. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. It does help that you know what her wishes are....it makes it so much clearer for those who actually have to make the decision. I know that this is such a deeply difficult time.... I think so many of us here have lived through it.

Margo,

My thoughts are with you and your family. Your mother is lucky to have such a caring daughter there by her side. Take care,

Your exhaustion is understandable. Wishing the best for your mom. Do take care of yourself as others have said. Getting enough sleep is important to your own well-being.

Trish

Margo:

My thoughts and prayers are with you & your family.

Margo my thoughts and prayers are with you too ...

Margo,
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Altho its hard, try to take care of yourself too.

Oh Margo, so sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope you will find some peace in this time with her. We are thinking of you and your family. I ditto the above, try to take care of yourself, too. Kim & John

Greetings Margo,
Just want to add my best wishes to you. Hoping your mom recovers. Take care of yourself during this stressful time. If you need to vent, just write me. rssc03@yahoo.com
Take care,
Joanne & John

Thank you again to all of you for your kind thoughts and prayers. My mother has made a small amount of progress this week in regaining some of her strength and appetite. She doesn't want a feeding tube so she's been motivated to eat a bit more.

Unfortunately, we are at a standstill in treating her cancer and we may not be able to resume. There are many tough choices ahead, but she is very certain that whatever happens it will be God's will. My father has been gone for 8 years and she is ready to join him. As hard as that is for us to accept, I know that we must honor her wishes. I'm just glad to have the time we have now to be together. My sister from Wisconsin is here now and my sister from Buffalo arrives tomorrow. I know she's delighted that we're all here together to spend some time with her and each other. None of this is easy, but your support and a place to talk is a great comfort.

Thank you,

Margo,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how difficult this is. We are never prepared for these trials. I am glad you have your family with you.

Betty

Thanks for keeping us informed, Margo. I've been wondering how things were going. I'm happy that your sisters are joining you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Margo,

I lost my mother to Lung cancer in 1993. The time we spent together as a family in those end days were bittersweet but also very special to me. We spent time reminising about growing up with my mother and it was a very kind way for us to thank her for the sacrafices she made in raising three children. We tried to keep things humorous and light despite the difficulty.

I wish your family strength through this time.

With all you and your family have been going through, finding the time to update your friends on LCT is so very appreciated.

Spending these cherished moments together with your family will help carry you through and give you the strength needed. Wishing your mother, you, and everyone in your family the very best.

Margo, warmest wishes for the best of health for
your mom...r/wes

Margo, it sounds like you are finding meaning in a difficult experience. I hope you all can really enjoy this time together. Sometimes it's nice to leave nothing unsaid.

Margo--you will look back on this time and feel so peaceful and glad that you all got to spend it together. I lived through my mother's dying of cancer in 1999 (my father died the same year, too). It's an amazing journey, lots of it painful, but some of it, amazingly, bringing wonderful new insight, understanding and growth. You are in my prayers.