Vacation package: All-inclusive; visiting African animals, cavorting with lions, drinking champagne from morning til night while secretly redezvousing wearing Victoria's Secret luxurious, silky body lotion slathered all over your lucious partner's surprised toes and slowly reaching beyond the pale, higher than a kite, softer than a baby's bottom rubbed vigorously with sandpaper (soft 40 grain).

Meanwhile, back at the LCT Board, Ngaire blushes but, with a twinkle in her eye, she is thinking of rack of lamb, a Cosmo, Ken in a leopard print thong that matches Tom's pajamas. Karen secretly stalks them while "Sheik" is playing with his harem, Trivia, while Marc books cruises through 2010. Meanwhile, Suzanne is searching for a pole to dance with, but Paige has taken them all and her GrandMother shakes her cane!!

The group discovers that Todd is making Cosmos 4 drinks per customer allowed! WRONG, Todd has run out of Grey Goose! He yells "Is there a COSTCO nearby?" "I just made my first visit to Costco yesterday in Atlanta and it was as wonderful as everyone here told me it would be," said Beth. Kathy chimes in that she has stashed two extra bottles of pink-scented massage oil stashed right under her bed for use as required.
But Sheik, I thought we requested Sambucca under our bed? "None for you little girl," he replied, as he groped under the sheet and found everything was missing except a lamb wearing a thong and drinking Grey Goose. Marcie yells " I think I'll adopt the lamb,and name him Rackof"

..which jolts Ngaire from a sound sleep and sends her in search of a Chef named Tobias Schreiber from the Mariner. He is writing a book called "MINT... is it an accompaniment for lamb or a group of crazy cruisers?" He scratches his head as he goes looking for the blackmail pictures. and contemplates what will be on the plate..and the sexy dish he saw in the Cordon Bleu class making her special rack of Lamb a la Sambuca, and shouts "WHAT A KEENE IDEA!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Karen, with three suitcases of shoes, along with Ngaire, who has no shoes to match; therefore, she's barefoot. "Here I am to save the day!" shouts the ever resourceful Karen while Ngaire is looking for a vat of grapes to stomp on and make into wine, but, the free-spirited Ngaire prefers to be bare, and, throwing caution to the wind she bares her soul to a reporter from the National Enquirer. LCT members must now go into hiding.

So they all book the next cruise to Gilligan's Island because Joanna has secrectly always wanted to dye her hair red and call herself "Ginger". Suzanne is hoping to entice Thurston away from Lovey by pole dancing and privately offering him Todd's cosmos. Suzanne and Thurston, full of Todd's cosmos, and tired of discussing Thurston's many homes, Harvard education, decide to really unwind by reading The New York Times #1 Best Seller, kiss-and-tell novel, "Conga Cruise Line Confidential." It will be subtitled "Can you reach 1000 LCT posts??
Lawrence, who is certain he is the quintessential Professor, studies the book carefully; on page 348, his eyes widen in surprise as he exclaims "What's this? I only have 745 posts? This is madness! And, someone has stolen my 'Conga Cruise Line Confidential' manuscript and penned it as their own!"

"Where is sweet Mary Anne? Ginger is hitting on me but I am a Mary Anne guy" said Lawrence unless Ginger went to the Library in search of"the Kinsey Report?" Ginger wails, "It's been made into a movie and I'm not in it" Lawrence laments... "Ginger darling the Kinsey Report is much to XXX rated for your precious phony ears listen to ..."

"What's wrong dear?" asked Ginger. "I'm not sure ... I've lost my train of thought and plus my grammatical structure was breaking down," said Lawrence. "But I have a swell idea! Let's form a Conga Line while we all book a cruise on the Paul Gauguin!! Everyone scurries to call their favorite travel agent(s), and Masaki says " We'll dance our way to Tahiti." The LCT group gently reminds Masaki he has a pregnant wife at home and suggests he concentrate on knitting a pair of booties, and Tony tells Joanna, "We will go, as long as you understand, I must spend time with Rowenta" Joanna replies, "Well pehaps our cruise will be free if you give Rowenta lessons to all the men aboard. Mark Conroy suggested a gift of an all-open bar cruise for Tony instead. Richard not to get out 'pressed" in the newest addition to the ship the laundry room bar, orders a sidecar and asks for the bartender to "throw in" a 1959 Mercedes convertible on the side. Tony throws in his pants, neatly pressed, then ChatKat orders a sweet old-fashion and asks Tony's opinion on ironing her short, black, frilly Frederick's of Hollywood leather bathrobe, and Denise said,"My best advice to you is do not let Frank find you alone with Tony in the bar/laundry room!" Just then the door flew open and Frank yelled, "they've stolen Tony's Rowenta out of the Laundry Bar.

"Kathy, I adore you for saving the Rowenta. I wondered where you were, but why is Tony wearing your short, black frilly leather bathrobe?" Frank said.
ALAS!! There is also an iron burn mark...HMMMM...Frank turns back to Kathy raising an eyebrow, "Yes, Frank that is the truth!" The door opened and in came Tom who had planned to iron Marcie's safari jammies with the jungle print she bought especially for ROAR to match Toms' zebra thong.

Tom threw both hands up in the air and yelped "Don't hurt me!". But it was too late, Marcie (hiding behind the door) snapped his thong leaving a suppository (Tom's doctor, Masaki, had given him for migranes) on the ironing board close to Tony's beloved Rowenta which caused Tony to scream I AM THE VOICE OF SANITY AND I SAY ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! A hush settled over the Rowenta and Tom and Tony began the Holy Rosary (for Catholics only and it is boring I am one of them) and the Rabbi, Phil Horowitz,walked into the laundry/bar room and said "This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the film "The Excorcist" except with cocktails. And speaking of cocktails", let all go get ready for dinner. The Wine is quite special tonight and we will take one", said Joanna, as "Oy Gevalt" and "enough already" are two phrases so close to my heart - as she teared up Denise ran in the room and said "Stop it already...you are killing us!"

But then, there was a silence as the room began to chant "Betty, Betty"...after such an evening they couldn't wait to see her.

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips while starring in the Cirque du Soleil!" She snorted "they could never get away dressed like that as waiters at one of the Phillips Seafood Restaurants!"

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips searching for

Too many brillant minds all posting at the same time...

WAIT! That's not part of the story, just an observation!

Ok Suzanne,

Are we searching or starring? I can delete my post.

BTW - which of the many, lovely Bettys on this board are they clamoring for?

Cruiser


posted December 28, 2004 07:06 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips searching for strange mushrooms

You guys are crazy!

My dear Olivia, aren't you a member of this group?
Crazy is the only way to go!

I just don't know how to add on without a new post, so just ignore me, and continue on!

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips searching for strange mushrooms, to which Olivia said " You guys are crazy", but Betty chimed in to say that crazy is the only way to go. But still

-the divine Olivia dispensing her "caps of happiness" to all requesting peaceful oblivion.

AAAGH!
Betty K got there before me! PLease disregard my "caps of happiness" comment. (go out and find your own mushrooms!)

the divine Olivia dispensing her "caps of happiness" to all requesting peaceful oblivion. Olivia was struggling with her "caps of happiness" so she called Suzanne who said

"I think I still have some packed away in an old trunk from my college days at Berkeley!"

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips searching for strange mushrooms, to which Olivia said " You guys are crazy", but Betty chimed in to say that crazy is the only way to go. But still the divine Olivia dispensing her "caps of happiness" to all requesting peaceful oblivion. Olivia was struggling with her "caps of happiness" so she called Suzanne who said, "Call the Sheik." His only comment was "AAAGH! Betty K got there before me! Suzanne answers "I think I still have some packed away in an old trunk from my college days at Berkeley!" Some what? the Sheik replies

you mean old tapes from the Jefferson Airplane.???..gosh Grace Slick and I were "buddies" in the 60's and Grace always asked me to remember our night

when we used magic mushrooms to make a Psychedelic Risotto. The next morning I woke up to find myself

You guys have left out several of the additions!

I think we all are eating Alice B. Toklas brownies!

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips searching for strange mushrooms, to which Olivia said " You guys are crazy", but Betty chimed in to say that crazy is the only way to go. But still the divine Olivia dispensing her "caps of happiness" to all requesting peaceful oblivion. Olivia was struggling with her "caps of happiness" so she called Suzanne who said, "Call the Sheik." His only comment was "AAAGH! Betty K got there before me! Suzanne answers "I think I still have some packed away in an old trunk from my college days at Berkeley!" Some what? the Sheik replies
you mean old tapes from the Jefferson Airplane.???..gosh Grace Slick and I were "buddies" in the 60's and Grace always asked me to remember our night when we used magic mushrooms to make a Psychedelic Risotto. The next morning I woke up to find myself
invited by Cruise Director Barry Hopkins to headline that night's show with Paige, my assistant pole dancer.

Not to be included....Donna YOU ARE GOOD ....VERY VERY GOOD - your pix is so sweet I did not think you were one of the "bad" girls...till I read your Conga retort - Joanna

Not to be included, either. Ahh, Joanna. Still waters run deep! Plus once I turned 50, I loosened up a little <img border="0" alt="[naughty]" title="" src="graemlins/naughty.gif" />

Holy Smoke! I'm "old" buddies with Grace Slick? I thought it was the Sheik...I'm getting very confused. It must be the mushrooms...

Again, just commentary, not part of the story!

Commentary, as well...No wonder I really like you all! We're all bad girls!

these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather Cirque du Soleil and played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips!
So there they were .. the merry throng, one Greek God, a guy in thong.. feathered babe, fully adorned, a lamb named rack of, Ginger and all the rest...

Oh my god.. missed the "shrooms..
I must go back a chapter..

The next morning I woke up to find myself
invited by Cruise Director Barry Hopkins to headline that night's show with Paige, my assistant pole dancer.Still waters run deepI'm "old" buddies with Grace Slick? We're all bad girls!.. So there we all were shrooming.. in a Gadda da vida baby....

Holy Smoke

ha ha ha ha

Holy Smoke. Our very own Betty is so old she missed the bad girl period. She has always blamed it on those blanky blank girdles all southern ladies had to wear. But now that she is sooooo old

The next morning I woke up to find myself
invited by Cruise Director Barry Hopkins to headline that night's show with Paige, my assistant pole dancer.Still waters run deepI'm "old" buddies with Grace Slick? We're all bad girls!.. So there we all were shrooming.. in a Gadda da vida baby....as Gil pulls Olivia onto the dance floor to do their rendition of "we get high with a little help from our friends."

Vacation package: All-inclusive; visiting African animals, cavorting with lions, drinking champagne from morning til night while secretly redezvousing wearing Victoria's Secret luxurious, silky body lotion slathered all over your lucious partner's surprised toes and slowly reaching beyond the pale, higher than a kite, softer than a baby's bottom rubbed vigorously with sandpaper (soft 40 grain).

Meanwhile, back at the LCT Board, Ngaire blushes but, with a twinkle in her eye, she is thinking of rack of lamb, a Cosmo, Ken in a leopard print thong that matches Tom's pajamas. Karen secretly stalks them while "Sheik" is playing with his harem, Trivia, while Marc books cruises through 2010. Meanwhile, Suzanne is searching for a pole to dance with, but Paige has taken them all and her GrandMother shakes her cane!!

The group discovers that Todd is making Cosmos 4 drinks per customer allowed! WRONG, Todd has run out of Grey Goose! He yells "Is there a COSTCO nearby?" "I just made my first visit to Costco yesterday in Atlanta and it was as wonderful as everyone here told me it would be," said Beth. Kathy chimes in that she has stashed two extra bottles of pink-scented massage oil stashed right under her bed for use as required.
But Sheik, I thought we requested Sambucca under our bed? "None for you little girl," he replied, as he groped under the sheet and found everything was missing except a lamb wearing a thong and drinking Grey Goose. Marcie yells " I think I'll adopt the lamb,and name him Rackof"

..which jolts Ngaire from a sound sleep and sends her in search of a Chef named Tobias Schreiber from the Mariner. He is writing a book called "MINT... is it an accompaniment for lamb or a group of crazy cruisers?" He scratches his head as he goes looking for the blackmail pictures. and contemplates what will be on the plate..and the sexy dish he saw in the Cordon Bleu class making her special rack of Lamb a la Sambuca, and shouts "WHAT A KEENE IDEA!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Karen, with three suitcases of shoes, along with Ngaire, who has no shoes to match; therefore, she's barefoot. "Here I am to save the day!" shouts the ever resourceful Karen while Ngaire is looking for a vat of grapes to stomp on and make into wine, but, the free-spirited Ngaire prefers to be bare, and, throwing caution to the wind she bares her soul to a reporter from the National Enquirer. LCT members must now go into hiding.

So they all book the next cruise to Gilligan's Island because Joanna has secrectly always wanted to dye her hair red and call herself "Ginger". Suzanne is hoping to entice Thurston away from Lovey by pole dancing and privately offering him Todd's cosmos. Suzanne and Thurston, full of Todd's cosmos, and tired of discussing Thurston's many homes, Harvard education, decide to really unwind by reading The New York Times #1 Best Seller, kiss-and-tell novel, "Conga Cruise Line Confidential." It will be subtitled "Can you reach 1000 LCT posts??
Lawrence, who is certain he is the quintessential Professor, studies the book carefully; on page 348, his eyes widen in surprise as he exclaims "What's this? I only have 745 posts? This is madness! And, someone has stolen my 'Conga Cruise Line Confidential' manuscript and penned it as their own!"

"Where is sweet Mary Anne? Ginger is hitting on me but I am a Mary Anne guy" said Lawrence unless Ginger went to the Library in search of"the Kinsey Report?" Ginger wails, "It's been made into a movie and I'm not in it" Lawrence laments... "Ginger darling the Kinsey Report is much to XXX rated for your precious phony ears listen to ..."

"What's wrong dear?" asked Ginger. "I'm not sure ... I've lost my train of thought and plus my grammatical structure was breaking down," said Lawrence. "But I have a swell idea! Let's form a Conga Line while we all book a cruise on the Paul Gauguin!! Everyone scurries to call their favorite travel agent(s), and Masaki says " We'll dance our way to Tahiti." The LCT group gently reminds Masaki he has a pregnant wife at home and suggests he concentrate on knitting a pair of booties, and Tony tells Joanna, "We will go, as long as you understand, I must spend time with Rowenta" Joanna replies, "Well pehaps our cruise will be free if you give Rowenta lessons to all the men aboard. Mark Conroy suggested a gift of an all-open bar cruise for Tony instead. Richard not to get out 'pressed" in the newest addition to the ship the laundry room bar, orders a sidecar and asks for the bartender to "throw in" a 1959 Mercedes convertible on the side. Tony throws in his pants, neatly pressed, then ChatKat orders a sweet old-fashion and asks Tony's opinion on ironing her short, black, frilly Frederick's of Hollywood leather bathrobe, and Denise said,"My best advice to you is do not let Frank find you alone with Tony in the bar/laundry room!" Just then the door flew open and Frank yelled, "they've stolen Tony's Rowenta out of the Laundry Bar.

"Kathy, I adore you for saving the Rowenta. I wondered where you were, but why is Tony wearing your short, black frilly leather bathrobe?" Frank said.
ALAS!! There is also an iron burn mark...HMMMM...Frank turns back to Kathy raising an eyebrow, "Yes, Frank that is the truth!" The door opened and in came Tom who had planned to iron Marcie's safari jammies with the jungle print she bought especially for ROAR to match Toms' zebra thong.

Tom threw both hands up in the air and yelped "Don't hurt me!". But it was too late, Marcie (hiding behind the door) snapped his thong leaving a suppository (Tom's doctor, Masaki, had given him for migranes) on the ironing board close to Tony's beloved Rowenta which caused Tony to scream I AM THE VOICE OF SANITY AND I SAY ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! A hush settled over the Rowenta and Tom and Tony began the Holy Rosary (for Catholics only and it is boring I am one of them) and the Rabbi, Phil Horowitz,walked into the laundry/bar room and said "This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the film "The Excorcist" except with cocktails. And speaking of cocktails", let all go get ready for dinner. The Wine is quite special tonight and we will take one", said Joanna, as "Oy Gevalt" and "enough already" are two phrases so close to my heart - as she teared up Denise ran in the room and said "Stop it already...you are killing us!"

But then, there was a silence as the room began to chant "Betty, Betty"...after such an evening they couldn't wait to see her.

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips while starring in the Cirque du Soleil!" She snorted "they could never get away dressed like that as waiters at one of the Phillips Seafood Restaurants!" So there they were .. the merry throng, one Greek God, a guy in thong.. feathered babe, fully adorned, a lamb named rack of, Ginger and all the rest

The next morning I woke up to find myself
invited by Cruise Director Barry Hopkins to headline that night's show with Paige, my assistant pole dancer.Still waters run deepI'm "old" buddies with Grace Slick? We're all bad girls!.. So there we all were shrooming.. in a Gadda da vida baby ....as Gil pulls Olivia onto the dance floor to do their rendition of "we get high with a little help from our friends.", we decided that we were all very fragmented and needed our leader, Ngaire, to

Vacation package: All-inclusive; visiting African animals, cavorting with lions, drinking champagne from morning til night while secretly redezvousing wearing Victoria's Secret luxurious, silky body lotion slathered all over your lucious partner's surprised toes and slowly reaching beyond the pale, higher than a kite, softer than a baby's bottom rubbed vigorously with sandpaper (soft 40 grain).

Meanwhile, back at the LCT Board, Ngaire blushes but, with a twinkle in her eye, she is thinking of rack of lamb, a Cosmo, Ken in a leopard print thong that matches Tom's pajamas. Karen secretly stalks them while "Sheik" is playing with his harem, Trivia, while Marc books cruises through 2010. Meanwhile, Suzanne is searching for a pole to dance with, but Paige has taken them all and her GrandMother shakes her cane!!

The group discovers that Todd is making Cosmos 4 drinks per customer allowed! WRONG, Todd has run out of Grey Goose! He yells "Is there a COSTCO nearby?" "I just made my first visit to Costco yesterday in Atlanta and it was as wonderful as everyone here told me it would be," said Beth. Kathy chimes in that she has stashed two extra bottles of pink-scented massage oil stashed right under her bed for use as required.
But Sheik, I thought we requested Sambucca under our bed? "None for you little girl," he replied, as he groped under the sheet and found everything was missing except a lamb wearing a thong and drinking Grey Goose. Marcie yells " I think I'll adopt the lamb,and name him Rackof"

..which jolts Ngaire from a sound sleep and sends her in search of a Chef named Tobias Schreiber from the Mariner. He is writing a book called "MINT... is it an accompaniment for lamb or a group of crazy cruisers?" He scratches his head as he goes looking for the blackmail pictures. and contemplates what will be on the plate..and the sexy dish he saw in the Cordon Bleu class making her special rack of Lamb a la Sambuca, and shouts "WHAT A KEENE IDEA!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Karen, with three suitcases of shoes, along with Ngaire, who has no shoes to match; therefore, she's barefoot. "Here I am to save the day!" shouts the ever resourceful Karen while Ngaire is looking for a vat of grapes to stomp on and make into wine, but, the free-spirited Ngaire prefers to be bare, and, throwing caution to the wind she bares her soul to a reporter from the National Enquirer. LCT members must now go into hiding.

So they all book the next cruise to Gilligan's Island because Joanna has secrectly always wanted to dye her hair red and call herself "Ginger". Suzanne is hoping to entice Thurston away from Lovey by pole dancing and privately offering him Todd's cosmos. Suzanne and Thurston, full of Todd's cosmos, and tired of discussing Thurston's many homes, Harvard education, decide to really unwind by reading The New York Times #1 Best Seller, kiss-and-tell novel, "Conga Cruise Line Confidential." It will be subtitled "Can you reach 1000 LCT posts??
Lawrence, who is certain he is the quintessential Professor, studies the book carefully; on page 348, his eyes widen in surprise as he exclaims "What's this? I only have 745 posts? This is madness! And, someone has stolen my 'Conga Cruise Line Confidential' manuscript and penned it as their own!"

"Where is sweet Mary Anne? Ginger is hitting on me but I am a Mary Anne guy" said Lawrence unless Ginger went to the Library in search of"the Kinsey Report?" Ginger wails, "It's been made into a movie and I'm not in it" Lawrence laments... "Ginger darling the Kinsey Report is much to XXX rated for your precious phony ears listen to ..."

"What's wrong dear?" asked Ginger. "I'm not sure ... I've lost my train of thought and plus my grammatical structure was breaking down," said Lawrence. "But I have a swell idea! Let's form a Conga Line while we all book a cruise on the Paul Gauguin!! Everyone scurries to call their favorite travel agent(s), and Masaki says " We'll dance our way to Tahiti." The LCT group gently reminds Masaki he has a pregnant wife at home and suggests he concentrate on knitting a pair of booties, and Tony tells Joanna, "We will go, as long as you understand, I must spend time with Rowenta" Joanna replies, "Well pehaps our cruise will be free if you give Rowenta lessons to all the men aboard. Mark Conroy suggested a gift of an all-open bar cruise for Tony instead. Richard not to get out 'pressed" in the newest addition to the ship the laundry room bar, orders a sidecar and asks for the bartender to "throw in" a 1959 Mercedes convertible on the side. Tony throws in his pants, neatly pressed, then ChatKat orders a sweet old-fashion and asks Tony's opinion on ironing her short, black, frilly Frederick's of Hollywood leather bathrobe, and Denise said,"My best advice to you is do not let Frank find you alone with Tony in the bar/laundry room!" Just then the door flew open and Frank yelled, "they've stolen Tony's Rowenta out of the Laundry Bar.

"Kathy, I adore you for saving the Rowenta. I wondered where you were, but why is Tony wearing your short, black frilly leather bathrobe?" Frank said.
ALAS!! There is also an iron burn mark...HMMMM...Frank turns back to Kathy raising an eyebrow, "Yes, Frank that is the truth!" The door opened and in came Tom who had planned to iron Marcie's safari jammies with the jungle print she bought especially for ROAR to match Toms' zebra thong.

Tom threw both hands up in the air and yelped "Don't hurt me!". But it was too late, Marcie (hiding behind the door) snapped his thong leaving a suppository (Tom's doctor, Masaki, had given him for migranes) on the ironing board close to Tony's beloved Rowenta which caused Tony to scream I AM THE VOICE OF SANITY AND I SAY ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! A hush settled over the Rowenta and Tom and Tony began the Holy Rosary (for Catholics only and it is boring I am one of them) and the Rabbi, Phil Horowitz,walked into the laundry/bar room and said "This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the film "The Excorcist" except with cocktails. And speaking of cocktails", let all go get ready for dinner. The Wine is quite special tonight and we will take one", said Joanna, as "Oy Gevalt" and "enough already" are two phrases so close to my heart - as she teared up Denise ran in the room and said "Stop it already...you are killing us!"

But then, there was a silence as the room began to chant "Betty, Betty"...after such an evening they couldn't wait to see her.

"Hurry there is dancing in the Stars Lounge, we must CONGA!" When we saw Kathy's photo of us Conga'ing and we laughed so hard we pee'd in our pants! As always, Ray was quick to quote.. "Oh Gosh, we're in the picture, and if Colonel Wes sees it he'll know we aren't in proper military dress because we forgot our service metals, but it really doesn't matter because we are wearing LCT dress blues! Denise murmmered .. if I had known LCT dress blues consisted of Chico's for the ladies and swimsuits for men I would not have bothered bringing my new digital camera and look at the bathing suit Marty is wearing he looks like a GREEK GOD!!! A veritable Adonis !!! Gretchen roared at Marty's comment saying "in your dreams" while Erika said "No, no, he looks like a 1960 Mr. Universe wannabee. I told him to get rid of that speedo and buy something custom made by Omar the Tent Maker, something resembling
(but which can never equal) Olivia's feathered dress. Olivia appeared in all her splendor, remarking .. "these gentlemen do not look as if they have served in the military but rather played the ukulele with Tiny Tim as they all tip-toed through the tulips while starring in the Cirque du Soleil!" She snorted "they could never get away dressed like that as waiters at one of the Phillips Seafood Restaurants!" So there they were searching for strange mushrooms, to which Olivia said "You guys are crazy", but Betty chimed in to say that crazy is the only way to go. But still the divine Olivia was dispensing her "caps of happiness" to all requesting peaceful oblivion. The Sheik screeched "AAAGH! Betty K got there before me!" Olivia was struggling with her "caps of happiness" trying to find some that the Sheik and Betty K had not smoked, so she called Suzanne who said, "I think I still have some packed away in an old trunk from my college days at Berkeley!"
"Some what?" the Sheik queries. "You mean old tapes from the Jefferson Airplane.???...Gosh Grace Slick and I were "buddies" in the 60's and Grace always asked me to remember our night when we used magic mushrooms to make a Psychedelic Risotto..."

"The next morning I woke up to find myself
invited by Cruise Director Barry Hopkins to headline that night's show with my buddy Grace Slick and Betty sans girdle singing "We're all bad girls!"

So there we all were 'shrooming...in a Gadda da Vida baby....the merry throng, one Greek God, a guy in thong...feathered babe, fully adorned, a lamb named "rackof", Ginger and all the rest, as Gil pulls Olivia onto the dance floor to do their rendition of "We get high with a little help from our friends.". It was right there and then we decided that we were all very fragmented and needed our leader, Ngaire, to
END (this version of) THE CONGA LINE!!

:lct:

Thanks, Suzanne, we needed that! Where else can we post this insanity and have fun doing it?

Whew! I'm exhausted, so many trains of thought, so little space on this server...

Awww ... is that it? :)

Masaki

Looks like "that's all we wrote," Masaki. Maybe Karen should delete this mish-mosh and we can get another one going.

This was lots of fun! Until next time!

This was fun. Thanks for tying it all together Suzanne. Looking forward to the next one.

Far Out:

Karen, if you delete this whole thread, please leave the final one so we may go back and read it and laugh for a while. Most fun I ever had on a computer!! Great minds.

I agree with Judith!! When I'm in a far-away land I will read it, laugh out loud and think of all of you!!

Right.. I think leave the last one Karen and we should start a new one every week