I have often wondered how many of us really do have good Mother in laws. You hear about all of the jokes. I try to be one of those good ones, and sometimes it is really hard. I have learned from my own MIL. <img border="0" alt="[bang]" title="" src="graemlins/banghead.gif" />

Mine is very nice :) She is in her 70's, still golfs every week and is sharp as a tack. I do believe she might think I am a little "unusual", though!

Mine was just wonderful - I married an only child so he was special to his mother - I get along very well with our children's spouses - they call Tony when they want to complain about stress in their lives (what stress?) or decisions they have made that have not worked out as he listens and never comments - I have been know to comment - I think I do better with daughter in laws -

Kathleen just achieved a milestone - 85 years old! Sadly, all of her chronic health conditions are catching up with her. I wouldn't trade her in for all the tea in China and she feels the same way. She drives me crazy :ohmy: one day; I think I drive her crazy :ohmy: the next.

It's so great when you have a communication method you both :ohmy: understand. Cheers, Anne

I had the world's most darling mother-in-law. She was the sweetest thing who loved her family so much. She never criticized and only found good things to comment on. I adored her and I hope to be like her when I'm the MIL.

Yes Yes.
I had a wonderful mother in law. Still have a great father in law. Jan B and I have taken many vacations in the past with them.
Now my mother?? I'm not sure Jan B would think she is the greatest. We have a tough time with her.

This is an amazing thread...

I have a wonderful MIL in Paul's mom Kathryn. She is a salt-of-the earth wife of a Vermont dairy farmer (now deceased). In her early 70's she still drives 30 screaming kids to school on her giant yellow bus. Besides that she is extremely active, funny, smart, loving, kind. Accepted me as her own son the first time we met.

Kathryn sounds like a wonderful woman Robert! Do you ever get her out of cold Vt to sunny CA???

My MIL is amazing, she's 85, still drives, does yard work and loves her Doctor appointments. I call them her weekly socials. Her name is Alice so we refer to eating at "Alice's restaurant" where everything is swimming in grease but tasty. Loves her privacy and seems to have a second sense when something isn't quite right in the family. Keeps a sharp eye on her two "boys". ;)
Like Karen, she thinks I'm a tad strange.

My MIL is 95 next week. When Frank introduced me to her she insisted that I call her Mom since she always wanted a daughter and had only sons. She never liked her othr DIL's. She is a tough old bird and very stubborn but also is sharp as a tack and now getting frail. She has a great sense of style having owned a very high end fashion sportwear boutique in the 40's to the early 1960's. Although she is not supposed to wear high heels, she does (we tried to take them away from her when she broke her hip - and you should have seen the revolt). Anyway, she is the only one at her Retirement Hotel in a dress or suit with hose and heels every day.

My Mother is Law in the absolute BEST. I am fortunate in that I have two... a MIL and a (step) MIL as Marc's Mom and Dad are divorced and remarried. They have been so wonderful to me from day one. Marc and I travel with his Mom and step Dad a lot, and we all have such a great time together. (We are leaving in three days to go to Asia with them). I treasure both of my MIL.... No MIL jokes from me ever!

Yes, J, she came out once and loved it!

Okay, you are all so lucky!! I always thought I would never have a problem since my old boyfriend's mothers were all so fabulous. It figures the best guy anyone could ever end up with, my husband, would have an ogre for a mother!

Part of the problem is she has 2 sons, and definitely plays favorites. Her younger son will be 30 in January and still lives at home. The other part is we have absolutely nothing in common. She stopped working as soon as she got married, and spends her time "as a lady of leisure" - shopping, eating out, etc. She even asked Jerel if I was going to stop working when we got married.

That said, I can't help but feel sorry for her lately, because after 35 years of marriage Jerel's dad filed for divorce. He turned 65 and decided he couldn't live in misery anymore. We're actually taking her out for dinner next Saturday for her birthday...a few years ago I would never even considered it!

Interesting thread here, especially for one who doesn't have a current MIL, just a former one! Love her! We were in business together as a family, and she had the wisdom to privately take my side on issues, or say nothing. Showered my children with affection and her bounty. She was and is a great letter writer, and I saved all of them for my children. At Christmas time, there were more gifts for them under their tree than ours! Now she is in her mid 80's, still going strong, although FIL is getting along with a few more difficulties. I hope my kids inherited her genes for good health.

Andrea, I am glad you and Jerel are taking your MIL out for dinner next Saturday. Anyone who delivered him to this world deserves it, even though it may be hard to get through!

Neat stories from everyone, especially you, Robert! Not at all like the stereotypical stories and jokes about MIL's. Now most of us are there, trying to be good ones! Next week, we board the Voyager, when it will be the first time on a cruise with a DIL! Already wrote them to feel free to eat alone when they wanted. She replied that they look forward to eating with family and friends as they have all their free time together! We'll see. I surely will not fault them for getting rid of us a few nights!

Good girl Andrea! The tough MIL's will provide the sweet DIL's a special place in heaven!!!

My first MIL was terrifying; she had her children that she had martyred herself for their wellbeing (divorce, with dad the evil bad guy). And that the world owed her precious baby boy (my dh) everything; he believes that to this day. He's looking for wife #4 to carry out that debt.

My second MIL was a gem; she truly loved, unconditionally and accepted this Southern girl who invaded her family with a 3-year-old daughter. I loved her dearly.

Mark's mother was stereotypical Jewish Mother. She thought that she should dictate every breath I took, and she kept getting surprised. But she never stopped trying.

I try to do better, every single day of my life. But I still fall very short of what I want for my children.

I'm on my second MIL and she is the most wonderful woman (can't think of much good to say about the 1st MIL of 29 years. I'll leave it at that). Kathryn and I clicked from the first moment we met (FIL too). On that day, Alan announced that we were on our way to Hawaii to be married. They didn't bat an eye, kept their thoughts to themselves (it had been sort of a whirlwind romance) and wished us the best. Since that time, they have both told me that they knew from the very first minute how right I was for their son. Each time we visit, they pull me aside to tell me how much they love me and how much it means to them to see their son happy again. I am truly blessed. On the other hand, when my mother first met Alan, she said, "We don't know his people." Maybe it's a matter of being on the same wave length. That's definitely the case between my MIL and me. In November, we will be her "bodyguards" on a Voyager cruise. Can't wait!

My MIL is fantastic and we get along great. Now, my mother is another matter all together - not sure what Amanda might say about her MIL ... :D

Masaki

(oops, duplicate post)

But it seems like you CAN'T get Anything You Want at Alices's Restaurant - unless you want it greasy! :D

Haven't had a M-I-L in decades, so I can't comment. But my mother treated her D-I-L's just like she treated her own kids, and I think they liked her. Still keep in touch.

Speaking as a two-time mother-in-law and a grandmother-in-law -- the hardest thing I have had to learn (and I'm still trying to learn) is to keep my big mouth shut and let our grown offspring and their spouses make their own choices in life. It really is difficult when you know from experience that a choice is not the right one and then to stay out of it when they have not asked your opinion. Now if they happen to ask -- that's a whole different ballgame although my husband still tells me not to voice my opinion! Judith (the not too quiet mother-in-law)

Judith: Same lecture I get from my husband -

Dave's biological mom died when he was four years old, so I never knew her. His dad re-married when he was eleven years old. He married the woman he was engaged to before he married Dave's mom! She wasn't a nasty MIL, but she wasn't a great stepmom to Dave when he was growing up, and perhaps that played a role in how I felt about her. (She died 1 1/2 years ago).
It never detered us from going back to Green Bay to see her. She had a good side. She had a great sense of humor. She brought a son from a previous marriage into the family and then she and my FIL had a child together.
My FIL passed away first and so when she died everything was left to "her" children. So....

Now, my mom? Dave loves her. And she loves her "son".

Trish

Wow, great stories!! My MIL is also elderly(92) she had my husband when she was 41. I think that has kept her young, keeping up with him. She is an old fashioned country girl set in her ways (always has been). For 23 yrs. I talked to her on the phone at least once a day and saw her every weekend. Now my husband gets the task of calling her, but he doesn't do it every day. Usually what she says, goes, but we usually quietly disagree. She just stopped driving last year, (Thank goodness) and is still living by herself. I think my husband is very lucky for her health. She spoils our only grandchild and tries to play him against me sometimes. She makes me angry sometimes but you gotta love her!!

My mother-in-law was wonderful, I loved her. She's been gone for almost 10 years. She treated my son like a god, and took him every summer for several weeks, including a trip to Ireland and a cruise on the Delta Queen, leaving him with lots of great memories. She was smart and talented artistically, and very outgoing.

My first mother-in-law was also nice, but she was one of the most neurotic people I ever knew, poor soul, she suffered from mild agoraphobia.

I forgot to add that my Mom is an excellant MIL. She is always happy and treats everyone fairly. She is truley my role model. We have been on 7 cruises with my Mom, Dad, Brother and Sis in law. It is so nice when everybody can get along. Every Thursday night we also get together with my Mom & Dad and have Survivor Night. My Dad usually cooks dinner, I make dessert and we all get excited to watch Survivor. We are all big fans. My Dad is a good FIL too!!

These stories are wonderful! Thank you all for sharing. I hope that more do...

In our relations with the In-laws, it is funny! My folks love Andi & seem to favor her.
BUT! Her Mom (her Dad has passed. He was a sweet guy. No one could ever say a bad word about him.), likes me just as much as my folks love Andi! - go figure.

In-Law problems are something we have never had.

But as they age, it can become a challenge.... & in that there is a lesson for all of us on how we left our kids.

Doug

I see in law problems as a big bad deal (working at a church and watching people coming for counseling on that issue) ...my daughter told me once and I have never forgotten it "You have a spouse in mind for us based on your criteria and we marry a spouse based on our needs" - made me think!!!!

I must say my MIL is wonderful. I think she has always had the good sense to favor me over my spouse and she was the first to point out to me that she didn't like the way he treated me a few years ago.

My hope is that while I'm divorcing her son, I don't have to divorce her too, and so far she's made it clear she too hopes I don't divorce her.

I've only met Gil's mom once, and found her pleasant.

Funny thing Joanna...I would bet that in most cases your criteria are in the end better than the needs of the offspring.

My adice..wait until you are at elast 30+ before even considering marriage. AND then.. think long and hard. Animals are really nice... lol

I really do love my wife...

Anthony

Funny thing Joanna...I would bet that in most cases your criteria are in the end better than the needs of the offspring.

My adice..wait until you are at elast 30+ before even considering marriage. AND then.. think long and hard. Animals are really nice... lol

I agree Anthony wait wait wait....after 5 adult kids we have seen and felt it all....NO easy answers