Very special memories and very special thoughts...the holidays are not only for spending time with our families that are here but remembering those we loved who are no longer with us. As we were making Thanksgiving dinner we discussed how much we still missed relatives, and I thought about my friend who lives in Vegas. Her 53 year old old husband had unexpectedly died three weeks ago. I made a mental note to call her on Friday.

Before I had the chance to do that, I received a call. My cousin's 15 year old adopted son shot and killed her last night (Thanksgiving night). What should be a joyful time of year seems to not be turning out that way. We are always so bewildered when we hear about this stuff on the news. It's so different when it's your own family.

Trish

Trish - please accept my condolences on your loss. It is bewildering, to say the least, when something like this happens. Sending you a LCT hug :hug: Peace, Anne

Trish, I am so sorry to hear this news. Please let me offer my condolences and know that I am thinking of you and your family.

Oh Trish, what tragic news. I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as well.

Losses of our loved ones are always hard to fathom when they stem from the unexpected. Our condolences.

Trish - our thoughts are with you during this time - our deepest condolences for your loss.

Masaki

Trish,

I am so sorry! You are in our thoughts and prayers as well.

Betty

Trish, I'm so sorry!

Trish, I'm so sorry to hear of such a senseless tragedy. Big hugs to you and your family!

Thank you. The kind words are always nice to hear. I know for me it was therapeutic to tell someone.....so far, I just haven't felt like sharing with anyone else.

Trish

Trish, Please accept our heartfelt condolances on your loss. This is a very sad tragedy that simply cannot be comprehended.

It's never easy when you go through the experience of loosing a loved one, especially under such incomprehensible circumstances. We always carry the gift of their importance in our lives in our hearts forever.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Your friends on LCT are always there to support you and anyone else going through a difficult time. A big hug from us to you!

Denise & Alan

Trish, I'm so sorry to hear of this tragedy in your family. Unexpected deaths like this are so hard at any time and seem even more difficult at holiday times. My heart goes out to you.

Trish,
I add my condolences also. You may remember my post a few months ago that we had cancelled our Singapore-Sydney Mariner cruise because my husband had cancer. He did pass away in September, three months after he was diagnosed. Although I was expecting it, it is still a shock. I do better each day and know that time will help. Holiday times are always tough. So, as I said at the time, travel when you can, time can be unexpectedly short!
Maggie

Oh Maggie, I am so sorry!

Betty

Maggie, We're so very sorry to hear of your husband's passing. Please accept our sincere condolances.

A warm hug to you from us.

Denise and Alan

Maggie - I'm truly sorry to hear about your husband's passing - I remember you mentioning that you had cancelled your cruise. Hugs from all of us here to you.

Masaki

Maggie, I'm so sorry to learn of your husband's death. I'll remember you in my prayers along with my neighbor who also lost her husband in September.

Trish, so sorry to hear your tragic news. You and your family have our condolences.
Maggie, I remember you posting your words of wisdom about seizing the moment while you can. We are so sorry to hear that your husband did lose his battle against cancer. You have our best wishes during the holiday season coping with your loss and for the new year. Best, Debbie

Thanks everybody. I've been throught the death of my daughter so I do know what to expect and know that time definitely helps. People have been so kind to me and I've made some new friends because of it. Sometimes it's like I'm on the outside observing my life in a way, knowing that some of the scatterbrained thoughts and things I do are normal for this period of time. I've pushed myself out the door, exercised and eaten well since September and am doing better than I thought I would. Always get teary when people are sympathetic though!
I've always loved to laugh and my sense of humor has helped see me through some of the more ridiculous things that I've encountered over the course of the last few months. I think it's time to keep a journal!
Maggie

Maggie,

Who's to say what is "normal" or "right" behavior. You do what is "right" and "normal" for you, as an individual.

I have found that humor has pulled me through many rough and trying periods in my life. Although, there were times when I stopped in the middle of laughing about something, questioning why I should be laughing at such a time or at all. I then answered myself - the pain is too great to sustain each and every minute of the day. I need to find some bright spots in an otherwise somber situation. Those I have lost would have wanted me to find some joy rather than remain in perpetual sorrow.

Keeping a journal is a wonderful idea. The journal becomes a trusted "friend and confidant." Your inner most thoughts and feelings are never judged. You are free to write anything and everything. You can go back anytime you wish and refer to what you've written and examine and better understand your feelings.

You are going through your tremendously difficult and complicated grieving process in the best way possible, Maggie. While I cannot feel the pain you are enduring, please know that my heart goes out to you. Please take care and let us know how you're coming along. And, you have friends here with very big shoulders.

Maggie, I too am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I can only imagine how tough things are for you now but know that we are ALL here for you!! I'm glad you've got friends around you and you're keeping busy and thank goodness you have your sense of humor. That is so important to help you through such difficult times! God Bless you!

I am so very sorry to hear this news.