Crystal, LOL! I'm glad you posted that (I am lay/lie challenged), because now that I see you are taking this whole thing tongue in cheek, I am going to suggest you change your moniker, as it violates Judith's (JAM) rule posted way early about "was" and "were", does it not?
Grammarians, should that comma have been placed before or after the parentheses in the first two lines?
