If you are a New Yorker or if, as in my case, you know one really well, I think you may find this amusing!

Hey! I'm walking here!!!!!
>
> THERE IS NO NORTH AND south. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." IF YOU'RE REALLY
> FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH
> ARE.... AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
>
> YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE
>
> YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE
> SEATS AVAILABLE.
>
> YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE
> DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
>
> YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
>
> IT'S NOT MANHATTAN; IT'S THE "CITY ."
>
> YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR
> NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
>
> YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND
> PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN
> YOUR MOUTH
>
> YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A "REAL" PIZZA
> AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
>
> A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.
>
> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.
>
> YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE
> ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.
>
> YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
>
> YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR
> FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
>
> YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S
> EVE.
>
> YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE
> STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.
>
> YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
>
> SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
>
> YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY
> NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
>
> YOU PAY "ONLY" $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
>
> YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS
>
> THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.
>
> YOU CAN NAP ON TH E SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
>
> THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A
> BEER.
>
> THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
>