Chip, I did a real ROTFL at this post. Okay:

1. Have not a clue as to difference between alfalfa and grass. All I know is I've got 5 acres of something green out there that needs to be mowed, and I am not about going to weed and feed and seed the stuff, so long as it is green and serving my purposes.

2. My favorite John Deer Tractor is the one that I own! 750 model, looks like a real "tractor". Had it since the mid 80's and it is still running strong. Have the groomer and the bush hog attachments to clear what you call "the brush" out there in Arizona.

2. No cows here, so no comments. My dog was named by the breeder as he was in a litter of many males named after the Marx brothers. Zeppo is mine. What, should I call him? Pets are like people to all of us.

3. Excessive mooing. No cows here

4. 3.2 beer I only remember in the 70's when I would buy beer in the supermarkets on vacation in Fla. or Colorado years ago. What is regular beer...6%?

5. No good answer if she won't just quit and take up your slack!